Attitude to motherhood is culture specific and it has largely been presented as constricting for women. In patriarchal society, with maternity women also learns to suffer and motherhood as an institution has degraded female potentialities. Nancy Chodrow, Adrienne Rich, Simone de Beauvoir are the few feminists who drew our attention to the sufferings of women in motherhood. Doris Lessing’s A Proper Marriage poignantly captures the trauma of pregnancy, delivering the baby and mothering. It also movingly describes the acute anguish of a young woman who feels stifled under patriarchal hypocrisy and when she revolts, she finds the whole motherly line openly in league with her oppressive husband. Through Dr. Stern Lessing has pointed out the limitations of medical science of that time, insensitivity and commercialism in medical profession. Through him Lessing also exposes how black women are dehumanized at the intersection of race and gender. Thus A Proper Marriage highlights the problematic of violence of the self and society in the context of motherhood. Key Words: Motherhood, Patriarchy, Colonized, Trauma, Violence, Ambivalence, Matrophobia, feminine